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April 2009



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Mar. 11th, 2008



to 115:) im soooo happpy:) im on day 2 of my fast:) fasting for the rest of the week:)

How are you?

Mar. 9th, 2008



ok well. ive been doing terrible. 
but im fasting all week if i can make it. i would lOVE a fasting buddy. if your interested please message me. and i also had a question. would it be dumb to tell me friends, if they ask, that im doing a detox fast? lots of people fast even if they arent ana right? so they wont suspect anything right? 
and then people would badger me to eat. i think it'll work.


cw: 107 (ahhhhhhhhhh... aaHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
hw: 120
lw: 90
gw1: 95
gw2: 90

also any tips for me to get to my target weight?
ill also be extersizing. but i tend to get dizzy on fasts, so it may not be as intense as i wanted it to be.

Mar. 8th, 2008




Mar. 6th, 2008



im very very very very dissapointed in myself.
i mean.
idk what to do.
all i do, is obsess over calories, its taking up m life. does it even mean im ana? what if im not? 
i mean i guess it would be good if i didnt, because its a deadly disease and whatnot. .....but. the only thing i want is to be thin. i would do ANYTHING, yet there are times when i just dont care. i just eat. but i feeel AWFUL afterwards. could i just be normal and a little uptight about calories? 

i just...i know my mind. and i know how obsessive im getting about all of this. about calories, about people, food. 
i know this sounds weird...but i depend on ana. im afraid that at any moment ill just stop worrying about calories and get really fat. i saw this fat girl today, and was like, oh my god. that will be me. i better shape up. i better fast like a good girl. and 3 hours later i was fucking binging. what makes me do that???????????????// seriously? why cant i just do what i want? 
why cant i be thin?
this is whats making me think,.....maybe im not even ana. maybe i just wish i was. but on the other hand....idk help me out guys. im so confused. im so hurt. ...
i know that you guys are involved in your own diseases, as am i most of the time, but i would appriciate feedback, so much. i need to know some one is out there.

Mar. 5th, 2008


(no subject)

Hey there. So monday and tuesday didnt go as well as i planned. I went out to lunch with the guy that im seeing, and i ended up eating. Monday he bought me mcdonalds, and tuesday because i kind of slipped and revealed that im anorexic, i forgot about the lie that i told him and now he is doing what my ex did. I told him i have stomach problems and that i cant eat anything and all this, That i have a list of foods i can eat. and the list was negative calorie stuff. So anyways i got upset with him and told him that i think that he is forgetting that im anorexic. And i figured that he thought i was because when i wrote him my life story about myself, at the end i put, thats why i am anorexic and bulimic now. So i figured he would have caught that. I guess not though. So i slipped and told him and he was like you lied to me? I admitted it and all, and i told him. But he said he isnt going to let me not eat. So on tuesday when we went to subway, i went to the bathroom while he was in line. Trying to avoid ordering something, i come out and my sandwhich was there. So he outfooled me. Thats the thing about him knowing my fav sandwhich. It sucks but so i ended up eating it because well, i felt bad im not going to throw something out that he bought me. And he said that he isnt going to let me take it back to school.
So i just ate it. But today is a snow day and stuff, so im starting all over.
Im finding that this is becoming more easier the more i try it. Anyways, so i plan to start my work out today. Probably going to do some around like 5 or so. Do the regular.
I was planning to tape it and put it on youtube for you guys.

ALSO. i found my motivation again! I finished my bracelet and i found some great sites that got me motivated again.
here they are for you guys. go check them out.
The first one, has ALOT of tips and tricks! i found it really motivated me. Its huge, i havnt read everything but what i have is great tips and tricks.
Anyways enjoy ladies.!
Ana Doll Two



Mar. 4th, 2008


good and bad news

the good news: i woke up 4 pounds lighter than a couple of days ago.
the bad news: im still not good enough. 
i'll never be good enough.
im still fat
if i have success in losing weight i usually just screw it  up and gain it all back .


Mar. 3rd, 2008


i have more willpower than i thought...

well being home alone on a  weekday is good and bad. its bad because im alone with nothing to do, so i have a higher chance of eating something. its good because no ones here to tell me to eat, i dont have to sit down to any meals. I had some EXTREME temptations today, i think the first day is always the worst...by far. but im ok, i havent had anythihng exept water and 3 peices of gum. so...i think im ok. i want to do this for as long as possible. If i can make it another hour, i am done with day 1. because i have rehersal then and you cant eat during rehersal. hust onemore hour, and then on to day 2. im quite proud of myself. i literally had a bite of cereal 2 inches form my mouth, but decided not to eat it 
hope youre all doing well. 

AIM: graceanne604 


Day 1 - ad2 - post 1

Hey everyone. So today went horrible. I mean, i definately didnt hold out. I didnt finish my bracelet that i was working on. And i went out for lunch with my ex, because we are seeing eachother again. But then i ended up having mcdonalds. I ate because, i dont know. I just wanted to. Anyways, i think that what im going to do. Is just roll every weekend to maintain my weight. Thats how i was doing it before. It was nice. :) But im really going to watch the calories. Im not going to have anything for the rest of the day. I dont know. Im so not motivated like i used to be. I dont feel that fat anymore. I dont know... I just dont know. lol

Mar. 2nd, 2008



Did anybody watch that documentary on TVO called "Thin"
They been playing the whole time on eating disorders without commercials

I have just one thing to say, when they show this kind of stuff on the media, they don't realize the tips and ideas they offer girls like us



i seem to have hit my plateau
tho i had 3 chocolate things (kinda like those caramels) a reese's pieces cup and i picked chocolate chips out of a few cookies
but i puked it all up
but anyways im 103.5
i think im gonna start doing my excersising
and roll this break, if its cheap

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